


much transform very shock so doge wow

by makiyakinabe



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Gen, Unfinished, sakuma is best doge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 18:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7066108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makiyakinabe/pseuds/makiyakinabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Sakuma literally is a dog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	much transform very shock so doge wow

One morning, when Sakuma awoke to greet the sunrise as was customary of a soldier from the Imperial Army, he found himself transformed in his bed into a dog. 

The dormitory was soon filled with his yelps of distress. 

A collective sigh arose from the other beds. This was followed by muffled groans, the sound of tossing and turning and, in the case of Miyoshi—

 _"Scheiße! Halt die Schnauze!_ _Wenn ihr dem räudigen Köter nicht gleich das Maul stopft, mach ich ihn kalt._ _Wer auch immer ihn mitgebracht hat, kann dran ersticken!"_  

Before Sakuma knew it, his ears were flat against the side of his head and his tail dropped low. He could've sworn he had not understood a single word, but there was something about the harsh, authoritative tone, so characteristic of the German language, that awoke something deep inside of him, compelling him to react in spite of himself. 

A resigned whine left Sakuma once he realized his newfound instincts had gotten the better of him. He'd been teased enough for being a metaphorical dog of the military, and now he actually _became_ _one._ Of all possible horrible ways to start a day, this one took the cake. 

Miyoshi clicked his tongue. Sakuma was ashamed and embarrassed to find himself sitting upright, ears cocked towards the source of the sound. "Now, now Mister Dog, are you listening to yourself? That was just pitiful. Really, if you wanted to get my attention, you could do a lot better than imitate a mangy mutt wasting away in a gutter somewhere." 

"That's no way to speak to a dog, Miyoshi," chided Amari, who'd sat up completely without Sakuma noticing. Sakuma felt a slight twinge of annoyance at this. So much for these supposedly superior canine instincts of his! 

Then Amari's eyes fell on Sakuma and widened. 

"Oh my. You might want to take your words back, Miyoshi." 

Sakuma bared his teeth in a soundless snarl. Look, he wanted to say. I get it: I'm a dog. _Haha_ , what a funny joke, now let's move onto something else, shall we? Isn't there some sneaky top-secret spy thing on your agenda for the morning? 

But Amari merely smirked and said, "That's Mister Sakuma's dog." 

Miyoshi said something in German under his breath that had Amari chuckling and shaking his head. 

"So it is!" exclaimed Kaminaga. Sakuma turned his head in time to catch the man spring upright from the bed without a sound, looking his way with shining eyes. Kaminaga patted the bunched-up covers in front of him. "Here, boy!" 

Sakuma let out a wary growl. 

Amari, looking between Kaminaga and Sakuma, shook his head in amusement. "Let an expert show you how it's done." Putting two fingers to his mouth, Amari whistled. "Boy! Come here!" 

Sakuma stayed where he was. No, he wasn't a 'boy' and he most _certainly_ was not going to 'go there'. He wouldn't trust these men as far as he could thrown them. They must be up to something: they usually were. 

"That's strange. It should've worked." Frowning, Amari put his fingers to his mouth and whistled again. And again. 

And again. 

The sound of slow clapping came from the bed next to Sakuma's. 

" _Nul points_ ," observed Hatano, his voice surprisingly clear for one whose eyes were still closed after all this time. "It didn't move an inch. That's a first." 

Jitsui's soft laughter came floating from two beds over. 

"What was it that you said, Amari? _Let an expert show you how it_ _'_ _s done?_ How disappointing." 

"So much for Mister Animal Whisperer." 

"Refresh my memory, what was it that he suggested I do again? Oh _my._ " 

"Come now Miyoshi, we mustn't tease poor Amari like that! He did succeed in calling up those dolphins when we were at Tokyo Bay that one time. Not to mention there's something more important at hand." Sitting up and stretching, Jitsui turned his smiling face towards the window. Sakuma distrusted him instinctively. "If, as Amari said, this dog does belong to Mister Sakuma, then what's it doing here?" 

Sakuma bristled under the collective stares. 

Jitsui made a sound of concern. "Oh dear. We've scared him." Sakuma barked in protest. No, he wasn't _scared_ , damn it! It just wasn't very comfortable to be stared at as though he were a specimen under a looking glass! "And angry too from the looks of it," continued Jitsui, oblivious. "I'm sorry, Mister Dog. We don't mean you any harm." 

"Do you know," said Amari casually, "word has it that dogs can detect evil in a person?" 

Jitsui blinked and looked like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. "But Mister Dog isn't that trusting of you or Kaminaga either, remember?" 

"Hey, don't bring me into this!" 

"Save your arguments for after breakfast," said Fukumoto. 

Sakuma watched, amazed, as the room went silent at that last particular word. Jitsui's smile became apologetic. Amari shrugged and shook his head. Kaminaga ran a hand over his hair, sighing. And suddenly practically everyone was standing, either making their beds or moving to get dressed. It was as though Fukumoto had them all under a magic spell. 

The sight of Fukumoto at the foot of his bed brought Sakuma out of his thoughts. "Come with me," the man said simply. "I'll make you something good." 

Sakuma looked at Fukumoto in consideration. The other was a cowardly spy, everything about him reeked of falsehood, Sakuma should know better than to believe in him just because he had the face of an honest man… 

…but Fukumoto's not wrong about being able to make good food. Sakuma would know: he'd had the pleasure of tasting most of Fukumoto's creations. And he _was_ a little hungry. 

His decision made, Sakuma leapt off the bed, trotting over to sit by Fukumoto's feet. 

For one split second, Amari and Kaminaga looked irritated. 

* * *

_Omake_

"Hey, isn't Tazaki a bit too quiet? I thought he'd be telling the dog to keep away from his precious pigeons or trying to recruit it for his magic tricks."

"Mister Kaminaga, perhaps it's best you leave him be..."

"What d'you mean, Odagiri? This guy's practically asking for it! I mean just look at him, all bundled up and hidden beneath those blankets! Aren't you curious how he'd react if I do something like this— _oh shit_."

Sounds of flapping wings and cooing filled the air.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Scheiße! Halt die Schnauze! Wenn ihr dem räudigen Köter nicht gleich das Maul stopft, mach ich ihn kalt. Wer auch immer ihn mitgebracht hat, kann dran ersticken!_ : Fuck! Shut up! If you don't shut up the mangy dog, I'm going to kill it. Whoever brought it may choke on it. ~~Miyoshi's none too happy that his beauty sleep's been disturbed you see~~
> 
>  _nul points_ : ~~nul points~~ zero points
> 
>  
> 
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  P.S. (Mostly) unrelated but if all the monster spies plus Sakuma were dogs...  
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \- Sakuma: ~~doge~~ shiba inu  
>    
>    
>    
>    
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \- Miyoshi: fox  
>    
>    
>    
>    
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \- Amari: great dane  
>    
>    
>    
>    
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \- Kaminaga: jack russell terrier  
>    
>    
>    
>    
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \- Hatano: basset hound  
>    
>    
>    
>    
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \- Jitsui: cocker spaniel  
>    
>    
>    
>    
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \- Fukumoto: bloodhound  
>    
>    
>    
>    
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \- Tazaki: a flock of pigeons (shh)  
>    
>    
>    
>    
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \- Odagiri: german shepherd  
>    
>    
>    
>    
>   
>    
>    
>    
>  \+ Gamou: rottweiler  
>    
>    
>    
> 
> 
>  


End file.
